Ice Ice Baby
by Youkai Kisaki
Summary: Ichigo knew that listening to 80s music on the radio would not benefit him at all. Singing it in Soul Society was not a smart idea. Yaoi/Shounen-Ai IchiHitsu, some sexual innuendos One Shot


Kurosaki Ichigo shivered as waves of murderous intent rolled over his half frozen form. He stared at the tenth division captain attempting to figure out what he had done to be encased in ice. Failing to come up with an answer he directed his attention to the white haired prodigy and asked him as such.

"You know why, Kurosaki." Hitsugaya replied.

Ichigo scoffed, "Yes ... yes I do. I'm just asking for the fun of it" he stated sarcastically.

"Sarcasm will not help you Kurosaki," Hitsugaya calmly stated, a sadistic look on his face. "You're in deep shit already!"

Slightly surprised at the curse coming from the captain's mouth, Ichigo gave a frustrated sigh. "For the last fricking time Toshiro what the hell did I do!?! Don't make me go Bankai on your ass!"

He shuddered at the smile that formed on Hitsugaya's face, "You couldn't go Bankai even if it bit you in the ass."

Ichigo turned his head and looked back at Zangetsu and swore. Half of the butcher knife shaped sword was encased in hard, diamond-clear ice. "Fine! Tell me what I did god damnit!"

Hitsugaya sighed, "Think back to what you have done today," he smiled. "If you're smart enough to figure it out I'll let you go. If not, I've heard frostbite can be pretty painful! You'd love having no toes Kurosaki, my grandmother reckons it is quite fun." That evil grin of his scared the crap out of Ichigo. He sighed and thought back to when he'd arrived in Soul Society that day.

_**Start Random Flashback Thing: (In Ichigo's POV)**_

I landed flat on my ass on top of Renji and stared down at the idiotic vice captain.

"What the fuck are you doing in front of the Senkaimon any way dumbass?" I asked him after being yelled at by the idiot.

"Good question. I can't remember." He told me.

"What's your name?" I asked him mockingly.

"Why?"

"Just checking you haven't lost your memory!" I snickered. "Now tell me, what's your name?"

"Abarai" a deep voice boomed as Renji called me an idiot with a chuckle. We both turned to address Byakuya, the dude with a stick so far up his ass I'm pretty sure no one could see it anymore. I snickered as Renji sobered.

"Captain? What are you doing here?" he asked warily.

"Looking for you." Byakuya replied in that stuck up tone of his.

"U- Um why?"

"He wants ta fuck you Renji" I whispered under my breath, chuckling at the glare he sent me. Byakuya stared at us, probably attempting to decipher what I had said. His pose straightened as he levelled his gaze on Renji.

"You have patrol in 5 minutes, I suggest you follow me." He said, then walked off. Renji swore and started running to catch up to his captain.

"What did I tell ya Abarai?!" I yelled after him.

"Shut up Kurosaki!" He retorted over his shoulder "No one cares what you think!" his voice faded away as I felt a strong reiatsu behind me. I turned around and found Rangiku giggling at the vice-captain's antics. "Those two are so cute together," she sighed.

"If only they'd admit it to the rest of the world, I mean, it's so obvious they're together," I laughed. "Byakuya's so cold."

"Sometimes I wonder if Kuchiki-Taichou should have been the one to wield the ice-type zanpakuto. Not darling Rukia-chan."

I laughed. "That'd just be freaky." I shuddered thinking of Rukia attacking me with mini pink dagger things. "I can't picture it."

All of a sudden a hilarious thought popped into my head, unintentionally making me chuckle. A loud cry of "MATSUMOTO!!" drew my attention away from the amusing song running through my head. She swore as we turned towards an angry Toshiro. I found my self laughing at her predicament and began to sing the song repeating itself in my head.

_Yo VIP let's kick it  
Ice ice baby (x2)  
All right stop collaborate and listen  
Ice is back with my brand new invention  
Something grabs a hold of me tightly  
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly  
Will it ever stop yo I don't know  
Turn off the lights and I'll glow  
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal  
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle  
Dance go rush to the speaker that booms  
I'm killing your brain like a poisonous mushroom  
Deadly when I play a dope melody  
Anything less than the best is a felony  
Love it or leave it you better gain weight  
You better hit bull's eye the kid don't play  
If there was a problem yo I'll solve it  
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it  
Ice ice baby. _

_**End Random Flashback Thing**_

And there Ichigo found himself encased in ice, by an intimidating 10 year old look-a-like. "That wasn't my fault!" he yelled at Hitsugaya. "Blame your vice-captain!"

Matsumoto squealed as Hitsugaya turned to her. "It wasn't me captain!" she mumbled, "I didn't do it! I don't even know why he was singing! Honest!" He glared at Ichigo, who gulped nervously.

Suddenly he yelled "Blame the radio!" the two leaders of the tenth division looked at him strangely, "They were playing the song non-stop," he whined, then clenched his eyes shut, awaiting Toshiro's wrath. He was surprised as the ice encasing his legs slowly melted away and soft lips pressed themselves to his own.

"You're an idiot, you know that?" Ichigo opened his eyes and wrapped his arms around the white haired captain's shoulders.

"I've been told that many times," he smiled, kissing the top of Hitsugaya's head. "How 'bout we go get that song out of my head," he suggested. Hitsugaya nodded and removed Ichigo's hand from his shoulders, pulling his arm down to entangle his hand in the substitute's.

"Lets go," he said, tugging Ichigo's arm in the direction of his quarters. They walked off, leaving

a confused Matsumoto behind wondering what her captain had wanted.

_Owari…._

Hey there! Glad to see you've read through this entire fic! I have to admit … this is a filler until I get my inspiration back for my other stories! (shame!) Review if you enjoyed this! Enjoy the Omake at the end!!!

Oh yeah! Disclaimer: I sadly don't own Bleach (Tite Kubo-sensei owns that!) or Ice Ice Baby (Credit goes to Vanilla Ice!!)

_**Omake: **_

Hitsugaya sighed as he lay across Ichigo's chest. "You do realize that if Byakuya heard you talk like that you'd be dead, regardless of your bankai."

Ichigo looked down at his boyfriend. "Huh?"

"The way you were speaking of Kuchiki-taichou this morning," he replied, to the slow orange haired shinigami. "He would kill you if you spoke like that to his face."

"Oh yeah?" Ichigo challenged. "What if I started singing that song again."

Hitsugaya glared him. "You wouldn't dare!"

"What offended you with that song so much anyway, Shiro?" he asked. "Was it the 'ice' comment or the bit about the kid not playing?"

The prodigy's glare intensified, "Shut up Ichigo or I will not hesitate to freeze off those precious balls of yours."

Ichigo laughed. "I knew it! You didn't like the kid comment" he stated bolting to the door. "Later Shiro!" he ran out of the room just as freezing cold ice blew through the doorway. Teasing Hitsugaya was always fun.


End file.
